Joke 1:
A Cordillera man visited his relatives in Canada for the first time. One morning he went out alone and dined in a restaurant. Since he did not know any of the delicacies on the menu, he ordered only coffee. The waitress politely asked him if he wanted to have anything to eat with his coffee. Appearing smart, the man replied, "Just bring me any of your specialties that has a dog in it.
After a few minutes later, the waitress returned with coffee and hot dogs served on a plate with eggs, hash browns and bacon. The man looked surprised and said, "Oh, I didn't think you Canadians ate the dog's reproductive organs. In our country, we don't eat the lucie. I bet you also eat the balls too!"
Joke 2:
Adda kano ti ekiangan nga kabitero, kanayon kano nga ti balon na ti lunch ket asukar. Maysa nga aldaw man mangan da ket nakatugaw isuna kadagiti batbato nga ikabkabiti da. Bigla nga adda kimmagat ti ukel-ukel na. Ta daytoy nga ikiangan ket nakawanes laeng. Lim-magto nga bigla daytoy nga lakay sana kinita ti ukel-ukel (botbotlog) na, ket nakitana ti kuton nga kim-makagat iti ukel-ukel na. Inala diay kuton ket imbad-debad-dek na sana kuna "uken-inam nga kuton, siak an-anusak ti asukar sika - - - - itlog."
Joke 3:
Panagkakali c patatas . .
(Woman A) became noticeably sad while cleaning potatoes.
Woman B: Apay nga ksla mkasang2it ka?
Woman C: Wen garud, apay no makit2am dgita patatas ket mlag2ip mo ni lakay mo?
Woman A: Wen! !
Woman B: Apay kasta nga kda3k-kel? (pointing to the potatoes Woman A was holding)
Woman A: Haan, KASTOY NGA KARUGIt
Joke 4:
A 90 year old Igorot man began making love to his 85 year old wife. He started sucking her breasts and after 10 seconds, he died.
Autopsy report read: "Cause of death: Expired Milk"
Joke 5:
At the Dangwa station, a guard whistled at a man urinating against the wall immediately after getting off the bus.
Guards: Pards, I-ad-adayum man bassit ta isbum!
Man: Anya ka metten! Ket nu inyada-adayuk ti isbuk. Agasem ta nagapuak pay lang Kiangan at ittuyak nga umisbu!
Joke 6:
Adda ti Ilocano, Tagalog ken Igorot jay death row ket masapol nga agpili da nu kasanu da nga mapatay:
- mapaltogan jay ulo;
- mapugotan;
- maindeksyonan ti AIDS virus.
Ilocan: "Paltugan dak jay ulo" (Bang, natay!)
Tagalog: "Pugotan nyo ako" (Whak, patay!)
Igorot: (nalastog na nga inbaga) "Give me some of that AIDS stuff."
Bigla nga nagkakatawa ti napigsa idi maindeksyonan, sanan to kuna nga "ikan dak pay."
Masmasdaaw dagidiay gwardia ngem awan mabalin d isunga inindeksyonan da manen. Karkaro nga pinmigsa ti katawan diay Igorot isunga haan nga matepelan daytoy warden nga agsaludsod, "kinmatok kan samet. . ibagam lang nu paltogan me wenno pugutan me ti ulom."
Sinmungbat diay Igorot, "Isunga awan asenso ti pulis a ta nagtatabbed da . . . haan dak nga mapatay it AIDS uray nu kasanu ti kaado na gamin naka-CONDOM ak!!
Joke 7:
When the bus going to Ifugao was still via Halsema highway, a story was told about a man who bought bangus from Baguio City to bring home to Kiangan. The bangus vendor knowing that his merchandise will be taking a long journey, packed it with ice to keep it from spoiling. The man who bought the bangus immediately thanked the vendor, "Mayat ka nga aglaku ah. Presko ngaruden ti bangus mu, adda pay libre nga asa-an nga it-itedmo."
The man boarded the bus headed for Kiangan. When they reached the stopover somewhere between the Benguet-Mt. Province boundary, he checked on his bangus. He noticed that his pack was filled with water and remarked, "Ay apu ti kdwa nga Igorot. Ha'an lang nga agtatakaw, bastos pay. Tinakaw da la ngaruden diay asa-an ko, inisbuan da pay dia bangus ku."
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